The late fitness enthusiast Jake LaLanne (the original TV health nut who created that giant super-overpriced juicer) lived to the ripe old age of 97 because he didn’t eat anything that wasn’t good for him. So basically, he didn’t eat…he grazed. And he came up with that awful juicer so he could convert grass and twigs into health shakes. He lived his whole life believing that if food didn’t taste like ass, it couldn’t possibly be good for you. But I can’t live like that. Life’s too short. Just look at this! I confess, I’m a foodie, and this is food porn. Like most human beings, I’m addicted to sweet, salty, fatty, greasy food. It’s delicious! Unfortunately, I’m now a Type 2 diabetic because of it. It will eventually kill me because diabetes always wins. But I can’t live out the rest of my life eating grass and twigs. So I had to find a happy medium. Therefore, I cook it and run a little of it across my tongue so I can enjoy it for a second. Then I serve the rest of it up to family and friends. Then it’s back to the stuff that tastes like ass. This is my kind of porn. But as it turns out, Jack LaLanne was right. If it’s delicious, it’s probably bad for you.