This is Thailand. It is ridiculously beautiful, to the point of being almost vulgar. If you’re thinking that it’s rubbing our noses in the fact that we can’t live there, you’re not alone. Raw natural beauty like this makes you want to have a come to Jesus meeting with Jesus and demand to know how you got stuck in Detroit when Heaven was picking places for people to be born? It just doesn’t seem fair! Yes, I know how poor the locals are. But it’s not like we don’t have plenty of poverty in America. If you had to choose between being homeless in Chicago or homeless in Phuket…seriously? Who’s gonna pick wrapping their feet in newspaper to stay warm if this is an option?!! Yes, they had a tsunami. It was catastrophic.The people died a horrible, horrible death. But the rest of the time, they get to live in paradise, so I can’t feel but so sorry for them. My bad! But seriously, are you looking at this? I mean, my God…this country is just breathtaking!!! It’s romantic. It’s cliché to even say so. The beaches are phenomenal and even when there’s nothing to do, there’s something to do. People watching is half the fun of being there. But without question, while Bangkok is cool, exploring the islands of Thailand is the entire reason for going there. You don’t have to go any farther than the beach to have the time of your life. 

But it’s the “other” kind of tourism that attracts the really big money to Thailand. That’s right…booty. All you can eat. Aside from the beautiful beaches and spectacular landscapes, Thailand’s number one natural resource is it’s drop dead gorgeous women. We got Tiger Woods because his dad left his heart in Thailand. This country draws men from all over the planet, looking to fulfill their hearts desire. No man is too ugly to get laid in Thailand…that is, if he has money. You can tell, just by the time of day, who’s looking for beaches and who’s looking for bitches. The sightseers dominate the day, but the freaks come out at night. The streets are packed with beautiful Thai women, and foreign men looking to spend a night with them. 

The streets are always packed with men…lots and lots of men, and they are just everywhere. Thailand is one of the world’s top five spots for sexual tourism, which is a real sore spot with me. I object to sex trafficking in every possible way, because it almost always involves exploiting the weakest and most vulnerable among us…as in children. This is where ickiest of the ickies go to get their freak on with little kids. That’s a fact. The really rich ones who can afford it are the who’ve sunk the lowest. They’re are drawn to Thailand like a magnet. That kind of extreme poverty means that pretty much anything goes. If you ever wanted to bone a toddler, that’s where you’d go. All the best pedophiles have been there.